Archive for November, 2019

In search of forever families

Happy family heaving fun in the park.November is many things. A time to celebrate veterans. A time to give thanks. A time to parse the difference between a yam and a sweet potato.

It’s also a time to remember children who need a forever family.

November is National Adoption Month. Special thanks to Nineteen Ten Church’s Jason Brown for the reminder.

The initiative’s roots date back to 1976 when Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis, a Democrat, announced an adoption week to recruit families for his state’s foster children.

In 1984, Republican President Ronald Reagan proclaimed the first national adoption week. About a decade later, Democrat President Bill Clinton expanded the campaign from a week to a full month.

Caring for orphans is rightly a national, bi-partisan concern. As President Trump stated in his 2019 proclamation of National Adoption Month, “…every child — born and unborn — is uniquely gifted by their Creator and endowed with both potential and immeasurable value.”

We should do everything we can for the children in need of a family, and for the families who take them in. It’s the highest of callings.

“Our son has ADD, PTSD and a bunch of other acronyms,” an adoptive father of an eleven-year-old told me last week. “He experienced every kind of abuse you can think of: physical, verbal, sexual, even neglect and starvation.”

The young man has been with his forever family for about five years. Progress is slow, but he is making headway.

“You can’t deal with adopted children, particularly those who have been through trauma, as you would your biological children,” the father continued. “They’re angry. They think you’re going to throw them away anyway, so they try to get rid of you on their terms. They want control.”

Adoptive parents know the struggles: tantrums, meltdowns, manipulation, threats, violence.

“Our son threw scissors at his teacher and flipped over desks,” the father remembered. “He’s a very smart kid, but he’s still often in trouble.”

Another forever dad honestly described how his adopted son has disrupted their family system:

“We don’t want to reward his bad behavior by taking him places, but we don’t want our other kids to miss out. When we do take him, even if he’s not acting up, he’s constantly interrupting.”

There are no easy answers. There is only perseverance.

The 2018 film “Instant Family” portrays some of the challenges of adoption. It will make you laugh and cry. If you haven’t seen it, watch it with your family over Thanksgiving.

President Trump’s adoption month proclamation pays respect to families who have taken the plunge:

“We recognize the loving and devoted individuals who are part of God’s plan for every child by taking on the role of a parent through adoption. We celebrate the beautiful families created through the generous act of adoption.”

I think about these special families whenever I meet a contributing member of society who tells me he or she was adopted.

Nineteen Ten’s Pastor Brown noted that if just one family from every church in Texas adopted a child, all kids in Texas’ foster care system would be home for good. One family per church doesn’t seem like a lot.

Perhaps that stat would make a good topic of conversation at Thanksgiving dinner, once the sweet potato / yam question is resolved.

 

Kevin Thompson writes regularly for The Boerne Star. Read more at http://www.kwt.info.

Online grocery shopping leads to faux pas

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We Americans live in an ever-advancing convenience culture, but grocery shopping has remained relegated, for the most part, to the aisles of antiquity.

We roam through paths of produce and staples much like market-going Egyptians or Greeks did in the third century before Christ.

Someday, stores will resemble giant vending machines with conveyor belts and robotics that assemble and spit out orders like a Snickers from a snack machine.

Today, however, grocery shopping is still incredibly inefficient, and then they go and put the milk in the back! But not before burying the bread in the middle!

I know, it’s a ploy to get me to fall for that inflatable slip ‘n slide.

Like you, I have been hungry for a way to make getting groceries – and ibuprofen – less painful.

So, when our friendly local grocer introduced online ordering combined with curbside pickup, I logged on to what I thought was the correct, red-colored web site. I proceeded to order $112 of groceries for curbside pickup…IN WAXAHACHIE!

Waxahachie is just south of Dallas. I live hours away near San Antonio.

I wrongly assumed I could easily switch my store preference to my hometown.

Instead, I had to visit a completely different web site and re-select all $112 worth of groceries – which somehow now cost me $118.

At the end of the process, the web site asked “Substitutions OK?” That’s code for “We’ll charge you no matter what’s in stock and throw something in your basket. You won’t remember what you ordered anyway, so don’t worry about it.”

I clicked OK.

When the appointed hour came, I pulled up curbside a little early. I needed to go inside the store “old school” and get some things I forgot to order online.

In the deli line, I noticed a red-shirted personal shopper taking a long look at me. I knew what he was thinking: “That’s the guy who’s getting cinnamon raisin bagels because we’re out of plain. Oh yea, he’ll eat anything.”

Back at the curb, so many cars were in line that it made picking up one’s groceries nearly as time consuming as shopping for one’s groceries in the store.

I’m pleased to report that I have since found a solution for the pickup delay. I now schedule pickups for 8:00 p.m. or later.

I know I sound sophisticated, but don’t take me for an expert. I’ve committed plenty of mistakes.

Two weeks ago, I accidentally ordered so many bags of grapes that I got a cease and desist letter from Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission.

Then, last week more bunches of bananas showed up than we have monkeys – and we have a lot of monkeys. My kitchen felt like Costa Rica.

In a pistachio shell, online ordering is worth the five dollars they charge to send a personal shopper around the store on my behalf. He’s the expert anyway. And he knows exactly the substitutions I like.


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