Fathers according to kids

Question: Why is Father’s Day six weeks after Mother’s Day?

Answer: Some guys were shooting the bull about a month after the first Mother’s Day when one of them said, “Hey! Wait a minute!”

Father’s Day is a convenient time to poke some fun at the men who brought us into the world and, according to Bill Cosby, could have taken us out of it.

“Dad,” read the card from my kids last year, “When God made you, he made the world a much better place…a little weirder, maybe, but much better.”

If you want the truth, you ask kids. Their frontal lobes and filters simply aren’t fully developed. Even one’s physical appearance is not off limits.

After looking at the back of my head recently, my five-year-old son said, “Dad, you have a Bob spot.” His twin sister was no less observant a few days later. “Daddy, did you know you can cut your eyebrows? They’re so big! They’re like a monster!”

Fortunately, their nine-year-old brother has more accurate awareness. When asked on a Father’s Day questionnaire why he is proud of his dad, he responded, “He has a six pack.” His share of the estate went up that day.

He was also asked, “What was your dad like as a child?” “Handsome,” he wrote. Evidently, he sees himself in me.

The Father’s Day questionnaires are particularly revealing. All my kids filled one out at church last year.

There seems to be some confusion among my children about their dad’s favorite food. The younger kids said broccoli, while the older ones said pizza.

The discrepancy may or may not highlight the difficulty I may or may not have with aligning words and actions. Do as I say, kids, not as I do!

According to the surveys, I am as big as a soldier and thirty years old. My kids love me because I make cupcakes and because I am so pleasant. In my free time, I like to go to a hotel. And if I were a cartoon character, I would be Bugs Bunny.

When asked, “What is something your Dad always says to you?” one of them responded with “This is unacceptable.”

Well, of course! My kids are never going to be a pleasant and ripped, formerly handsome soldier of a man if they eat pizza all the time! What’s up, Doc!?!

On second thought, it would have been nice if the first thing he thought of was more like, “I love you, son. I am really happy with you.” Something a little more consistent with what our Heavenly Father thinks about us.

There are certainly times to pronounce an act unacceptable. But the person of the child is and will always be profoundly acceptable. To convince children of their innate value and uniqueness, this is the great point of parenting.

A silver lining: kids live neither in the future nor in the past. Everything is present tense. Therefore, the past is not indelible. Kindness and care today can cover yesterday’s frustration and negativity.

Kevin Thompson writes weekly for The Boerne Star in the Texas hill country. He can be reached at kevin@kwt.info.

1 Response to “Fathers according to kids”


  1. 1 M Himlin June 21, 2016 at 09:58

    Re: your Boerne Star article 6/21/16, Stephen Curry was not fined “simply” for “complaining” – he was fined for throwing his mouthpiece and hitting a fan – who happened to be the son of a minority owner of the Cavaliers – in the head.


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